Sad Hearts

Most of you know that we had another IVF procedure and got pregnant. Our blood worked looked great and right away we had large numbers. We were suppose to have our first ultra-sound on Thursday, but the doctor couldn't find the heart beat. The sack was too small for six weeks, so I had more blood work that night, but by Friday my HCG showed that my levels were dropping and that my body was going to lose this pregnancy. We were not prepared for this news at all. Everything seemed to be going according to plan and with doing an IVF, they pump you so full of hormones, you feel more confident about not miscarrying, at least we did. It's rare, but it happened, and now we have to put all of our hopes, expectations and excitement away and continue the grieving process. Bella has been asking for another little brother or sister for a while now, and so we did tell her when we felt like it was safe to. She was praying every night that the baby would be safe and strong and that it would teach Natalie how to love and how not to be naughty. She was sad at first, but now she's just praying for another little brother or sister to come along. I wish life was that simple for Aaron and I. I wish that I didn't desire a big family or to be pregnant again, but I do (we do), so we put our faith in God and understand that our days are numbered and that this baby may have only lived for six weeks, but it was loved so much and in the end, isn't that what life is suppose to be all about?