One Looooooooooooong Night

Aaron's been gone for four days now and the girls have been pretty well behaved for me. Natalie Jane has not tried any death-defying acts yet. That always makes me breath a little easier. Last night I had my old college friend stay the night with her little guy and we all had a sleep-over. We got to bed kind of late after watching a movie and couldn't get our kids to stay in their beds until after we went to bed, so they were up late as well. Bella ended up in bed with me and then woke up with her stomach hurting, so I was up most of the night with that and half way through the night the thunderstorms started and my big baby of a dog Zoe, who is afraid of thunderstorms, jumped over the baby gate that keeps them in their bed at night and ended up in bed with me. She was shaking so hard that the bed was REALLY moving. Bella and I kept sighing and then in the dark I could hear her whisper into Zoe's ear "don't worry Zozo girl, it will be OK". It was so sweet. After about 4:30the thunderstorms stopped and I got Zoe back in her bed. My friend had to leave at 7:30, so I woke up to say good-bye to her and never really got back to sleep. Bella woke up soon after that and watched cartoons in bed. Luckily Nat slept until 9:30 so I could at least lay in bed a while. Tomorrow we are off to Joliet to see my family so please pray that I make it OK alone with them both. Long car trips were a lot easier when Natalie wasn't old enough to fight with Bella over who got to hold the DVD player. They have no idea how lucky they are to even have a TV in the Car! Back in my day............ha ha ha. Happy fathers day dads. I hope you have a good one!

Life

Hello friends and family who tune into see how we are all fairing. Spring was a difficult time for us. We suffered our third miscarriage and are trying to heal from that, as well as figure out where God wants us to be in our lives. Talking to friends lately has made me realize how much pain there is out there. To all my beloved friends who are suffering from emotional pain from circumstances beyond their control - I am praying for you all! Life is difficult. Bella, who I count on to be my rock/perfect child, has decided that bringing frogs into our house is a great idea despite how much I punish her. Yesterday when she knew I was coming in from the garden, she quick passed off the frog to Nat, who was so pleased with herself that she nearly squeezed the life out of it. Bella, by the way, took off to hide from my wrath. Urgh!!! The other day as Aaron was talking to her about it for the 100Th time she cried to him, "Daddy, I just can't take my eyes off the toads!". I'm hoping this will pass just like everything else. Natalie on the other hand, I pray that her naughtiness will pass, but it never does. In the last month I've walked into the bathroom flooded from her playing in the sink, watched as she scooped water out of the toilet with a cup and drank it, found that she colored all over the stair walls with a black permanent marker, decorated Bella's wall with that same marker, painted the white kitchen cabinets with a pink marker (don't know where this one came from - believe me, we learned our lessons from the past), learned how to climb up on the deck railing (it's a long way down), learned how to stick metal screws in the light socket(yes we have covers - she learned how to take them off at nine or ten months), learned how to unzip the safety enclosure of the trampoline and fell out on her knees(also a long way down), learned how to let Bosley out the front door so he could take hiself for a walk (our lovely neighbors have brought him home three times now)........I could go on forever. Needless to say, she keeps me hopping (no pun intended). Aaron will be heading to Washington (the state)for 5-6 weeks starting June 15Th, so I will need lots of prayers that I don't loose my sanity with a child that's so active! I hope you all survive the summer with all the kids out of school! Take care.............

Spring

Well I finally feel like spring is here for good and we have been having so much fun planting gardens and getting the yard all cleaned up. I got lots of rose bushes for mother's day and I can't wait until they are all blooming this summer! Bella graduates from preschool next week and although we are excited to end that chapter of Bella's life, we are already terribly sad to say good-bye to her teachers. What a God-send they were this year! Mrs. Sue and Mrs. Ann were the best teachers I have ever come to know and we all feel blessed to have had them be a part of Bella's life! I wanted to also take this time to wish all of our mothers and grandmothers happy mother's day! We are so thankful that we have each and every one of you to love. God is so good! What would we do without you? Thank you mom for all of your love and support this spring - I am blessed and I know it! Our dear friend Jess is scheduled for her c-section Friday the 15Th and I if you could pray for baby number five that he/she is healthy and that Jess recovers quickly, that would be great. Also if you want pray that it is a boy,that would be great too! Not that a fifth girl wouldn't be as exciting, but I'm sure they would love to experience the gifts that a little boy can bring into their lives and so would all of us friends! I pray that each and every one of you who reads this is doing well and that spring brings you lots of hope and joy! God bless!

My Birthday and Easter

Happy Easter to all of our friends and family! This has been a busy week with Bella having spring break, Aaron being gone, celebrating my birthday and Easter today. Thankfully the weather was nice all week and we were able to spend a lot of time outside. I just wanted to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers in the last couple of weeks. We couldn't have gotten through this time without them. The Easter bunny paid us a visit this morning and Bella was very excited. Natalie Jane wasn't that into finding the eggs this year, but Bella made up for her. They are playing with their Easter goodies right now and hopefully we will spend some time with family today. We had a very nice service at church this morning and now we can relax after getting ready for this crazy weekend. Take care everyone!

Sad Hearts

Most of you know that we had another IVF procedure and got pregnant. Our blood worked looked great and right away we had large numbers. We were suppose to have our first ultra-sound on Thursday, but the doctor couldn't find the heart beat. The sack was too small for six weeks, so I had more blood work that night, but by Friday my HCG showed that my levels were dropping and that my body was going to lose this pregnancy. We were not prepared for this news at all. Everything seemed to be going according to plan and with doing an IVF, they pump you so full of hormones, you feel more confident about not miscarrying, at least we did. It's rare, but it happened, and now we have to put all of our hopes, expectations and excitement away and continue the grieving process. Bella has been asking for another little brother or sister for a while now, and so we did tell her when we felt like it was safe to. She was praying every night that the baby would be safe and strong and that it would teach Natalie how to love and how not to be naughty. She was sad at first, but now she's just praying for another little brother or sister to come along. I wish life was that simple for Aaron and I. I wish that I didn't desire a big family or to be pregnant again, but I do (we do), so we put our faith in God and understand that our days are numbered and that this baby may have only lived for six weeks, but it was loved so much and in the end, isn't that what life is suppose to be all about?

Bella Accepted Christ Today

The last couple of weeks around the Combs's household have been difficult and I woke up today feeling a little bit weary, but then something amazing happened. We were listening to Steven Curtis Chapman's "Cinderella" song on the radio and those of you who don't know the song, it is about how his little girl wants to play Cinderella all the time and dance with her daddy and then it flashes to prom when she's older and she asks him to help her practice dancing and then flashes forward again to her wedding day and it's a tear jirking song, but the really sad part of the song is that the artist that sings that song lost his four-year old daughter (whom he wrote the song about) last year when his older son hit her in the driveway with the car accidentally. Bella remembered the story I had told her. We told her about the story so we could explain the danger of running in front of cars. I hadn't said anything yet, but she was really quiet and I said "what are you thinking about?" She said "I was thinking of the little girl who died". We talked about that story and she said she was very sad for her, but I explained to her that she didn't need to be sad for the little girl, because she was in heaven with Jesus now and although we are sad for her family and the ones who miss her, we are excited that she is with him. We have been talking to her about how you get to heaven and praying to Jesus when she was ready to have hime come into her heart, but I always tell her that it doesn't need to be done today, but when she's really ready and understands what that means. Well, today she said "I want Jesus to come into my heart today Mom, so I can go to heaven when I die". A lot of you have been going through this very same moment with your children lately and I was so excited for each and every one of you, but when it's your child, there are no words to express the happiness you feel. I don't know if at four and half she really undnerstands completely, but there is nothing like the pure faith of a child! It's funny to see someone so young, also be so compassionate at the same time. Every time we pray, she always prays for the homeless people downtown who live in boxes under the bridge who have no home or food and she's still asking questions about our friend Ryand who passed away last June. She worries about people who are sad or who have lost someone. I have always been proud of her for her soft heart, but lately she has been having issues and has been in kind of a funk. She's definetely been batteling something and when this morning she prayed her prayer with me, it renewed my spirit and made me understand that Aaron and I are doing something right at least. That Bella loves Christ and the hurting - I couldn't feel more OK, no matter what happens from here!

These Sweet Moments

Well, things are finally slowling down after the holidays and with that I am taking more time to appreciate the girls and all the sweet and funny things they say and do. Like the song says "time falls away", and I wish that I had a photographic memory so I can remember it all before I forget it. Will I remember how small their piggies are right now or how high their sweet voices are or what it feels like to be wrapped in such small little arms? I try to to write it all down, but time slips away and that moment is forgotten. Today was a challenge with Natty - she was her usual naughty self - some call it busy, but it's just a nice way of saying the same thing. I feel bad giving her that label, but she is truely the most challenging child I've ever delt with. Her favorite thing to do is sit in my lap and suck her thumb, but life is busy and so she does the other favorite thing she does best - hang on the fridge or cabinets crying that she needs "cheese" or "canny". When she inevitablly doesn't get what she wants, she throws her temper tantrums, which come by the dozens these days. She learned to say "no" and "mine" this past week and they are my least favorite words coming from a toddler's mouth, BUT in the taking of my time appreciating her tonight I got to watch her swim in the tub and climb into her bed all by herself and sing along with me for the first time as I sang Adel Vise to her. It was one of the sweetest moments I've had with her and it melted my angry heart. When we were done she clapped and folded her hands to say her prayers and giggled when I prayed for her to not be naughty tomorrow - not a coinsidence:) She said Amen all by herself and I thought what a cool little person she's becoming. Aaron is gone tonight, so Bella and I are going to have movie night. She is waiting for me so patiently. Her teacher's brother is in the hospital tonight with spinal meningitus and is unconscious. They have decided to let him go and tomorrow will be his first day with Jesus. All their kids and family will be coming in from out of town. If you could pray for that family. I can't imagine what they must be going through right now and I know that they could use all the prayers they can get. God bless!