My birthday

This is for all my friends who have not heard yet - so I don't have to tell everyone individually over and over again. We spent the early hours of my birthday in the Emergency room. I was pregnant, but lost our baby in what would have been our tenth week. It was a pretty horrible experience. Please pray for us.

February 2010

Well, February is almost over and I am so thankful! When February is finished, I am able to really get excited about the spring. I know we have some more snow fall expected for next month, but the coldest snowiest times of the season are behind me, at least in my mind:) We had an uneventful winter and I am pretty thankful for that. It went faster than last year, so that is awesome as well. We all seem to be doing well and the girls are happy. I'm still knocking my head against the wall with the potty training ordeal, but she's staying dry most days, but she just doesn't let me know when she has to go, so I have to be aware every hour! She's very stubborn, because last summer she was telling me when she had to go, but nine months later, she won't do that at all. Aaron has to be gone for a month this summer, so I am praying that we will have success by then. She is still a character and her latest funny is that she tells me "I'm going to Hollywood". I have no idea where she got that one, but she thinks it's very funny. Bella just finished her winter break and I loved having her home to love on. I missed her as I put her on the bus today. She's such my little buddy. We didn't do much over the break, but that was nice too. It's so neat to hear the girls playing make-believe together on their own. I love the way their little minds work. I lost my dear Aunt Marilyn yesterday and we are all grieving her death. She died in her sleep, probably of a heart attack, but she's a believer, so she is basking in God's glory right now. I am both excited for her and sad for our family. She was a character and we will miss her so much. Pray for her husband, who has no one else in his life to support him. I am sure he is very lonely. God bless you all - I hope you are happy, healthy, safe and warm. Love you!

A New Year

We had a wonderful Christmas season and I can't believe it is already January! We had six Christmas', but I know some people have more than that. It was so nice spending time with our family, but we also missed the ones we couldn't be with too. We actually made it through the holidays without any sickness. I think that it's a record! We usally go home to visit my family and get everyone else sick too:) The girls really had a great visit from Santa this year. Bella was so funny - the first thing she did on Christmas morning was go and check if Santa ate all the cookies and took the carrots for the reindeer:) She waited to see what Santa brought her - I was shocked. Her reaction to what she got was priceless. She wanted a robo kitty and a unicorn and she got both, so she was extatic. Natalie went along for the ride, but didn't really ask for anything. Aaron and I spent the Christmas break working on my new stained glass workshop. We are both pretty excited on how it turned out. Bella started school again today after her break and was excited to go back. I love that she really likes her teacher. Natalie loved that she had me to herself again. She wanted to play "mato" - that's playdoh to most people. She was so excited to open her new Christmas present with all new doh and cutting supplies. I don't think I have ever seen her that excited about a toy. She makes me laugh every day (inbetween all the naughtiness;). I am excited to see what 2010 will bring. 2009 was a year I don't want to remember too well, but through it all, I got a much closer realationship with Christ and a stronger hunger for God's word. I wonder what things he has to show me this year! I hope his lessons aren't too painful;)

Christmas 2009

Merry Christmas to everyone! It seems like Christmas gets busier every year. With Christmas programs at church, buying and wrapping presents, getting Christmas pictures taken, getting the cards ordered and then addressing and labeling them, not to mention the parties and travelling out of town for the holidays. Phew - I get tired just looking at the list! I try to stop and remember the real reason for celebrating this wonderful holiday - Jesus the son of God, coming to earth to save us from our sins. When I try to take in the magnitude of God's blessing in just that very gift, my breath is taken away. I look at the miracle of both my children's births and I am so thankful for their gifts as well. We are continually challenged by my two-year old gift, who has a propensity for sneakiness. I found her chewing a mouthful of gum and took it away, but found her chewing gum the next time I checked on her. After scolding her, she quickly said, it's OK Mom, I got more in my pocket (this said in a two-year old voice I can barely understand). I then reached into said pocket and found more warm sticky gum. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. Another issue with Nat lately was trying to stop her sucking her thumb. The more I tried to keep her from putting her thumb in her mouth, the further behind she got in potty training. We actually went backwards. So, my big plans went out the window and now I am going to try and re-focus on the potty training thing after the holidays. My five-year old gift amazed me this year when I looked at our Christmas pictures taken and I saw a little girl instead of my baby. She is growing up right before my eyes. With her being in school half the day and then with her and Natalie Jane playing so well together off on their own, I feel like her childhood is slipping away. I want to rewind time and make her smaller, so she can just sit and my lap and let me cuddle her. She really is doing awesome in school and actually cried last week when I told her she had a snow day:( That never would have been me. I am happy that she enjoys school, that she wants to come home and do homework and practice reading. That is so foreign to me. I laughed with my friend Beth at church on Sunday watching her in the Christmas program. Aaron participated as well. He actually got a scholarship in theatre and in voice his first two years of college and here's our Bella up front who was barely singing the songs and spent most of the time making faces like she was in pain. A scholarship in theatre - not in her future:) We have a couple of more Christmas parties before we go home to Joliet for Christmas next week. I can't believe that we are only a week away from the big day! I am going to miss all the music on the radio and the Christmas cheer in the air when it's all over. Have a safe and happy holiday everyone - God bless you all!

Thankful

Well, I had a great time with my family over Halloween weekend and then an even better week in Texas with my family. My sister and I got to go together, which was a nice treat. We use to travel a lot together before the kiddos came along and so it was nice to spend time with her and to be able to go on a vacation. We visited our aunt and uncle whom we don't get to see enough. The older I get, the more I realize how important family is. It gets harder and harder to say good-bye. Aaron stayed home with the girls for the week and did a superb job with them. Thank you again Aaron. This was a rough week in our home. We had lots of sickness and lack of sleep and whiny kids and someone got a hold of my credit card and tried to make some very expensive purchases. I think that is all under control, but I was thinking. Today would have been the due date for the baby we lost last spring. The last 7 months have been difficult. I use to not understand why people focused on a due date for a miscarriage when there no longer was a baby, but now I know. For us, who have gone through so much money, emotion and heart break to create our family, to have gotten pregnant and then gone through that loss, was extra painful. I was pretty bitter and I was holding onto that grief with all my might. I finally gave it up to God and asked him to take it away and the next day I woke up and it was gone. God is so amazing. That was just a couple of weeks ago. Last night I was over-come by a wave of great sadness for what today would mean, but I shed my tears and felt so relieved. For seven months I would occasionally tell myself that I should be pregnant right now and it felt horrible to think about, but now, after today, I feel like that is gone. I am over that hurdle and it feels so much better. So, after what 2009 was like for our family, I can safely say that what we are most thankful for this year, is our girls, for family and for our health. Some of the people we hold most dear to us in our family are suffering from major health battles right now and we just want to let you know that we lift you up in prayer and that we love you with all of our hearts. Happy thanksgiving everyone!

Fall 2009

Well, October is usually my favorite month, but this one in particular has been very disappointing. It rains nearly every day and there has only been one sunny day in the last two weeks at least. I had to turn my heater on last night, because the high winds were making our house even colder than usual. I'm praying for a break in this dreary weather before winter hits. So, the reason I started this blog, besides having it for my family who lives far away and likes to see the updates and slide shows of their girls, was so that I could someday make books for the girls out of them when they are older. My friend Kristen told me about a business that puts them together for you, so you can give them to your kids when they are older to show them what their family was going through - kind of like a diary. I thought this was an awesome idea. I am torn about what to write sometimes though. I want to write about their accomplishments and the things they struggle with or put me through;), so I can give them an accurate view of what their childhoods were like, especially before they have memories of them, but I don't want to come ac cross as bragging about them, to friends who tune in to see what's new with us. I also struggle with the fact that these are essentially for my kids and I feel like I focus too much on all the terrible things that Natalie Jane is getting into, but at the same time I want her to know how mischievous she was and how much she is loved. I am trying to find a balance I guess, so here goes. Natalie is slowing down in terms of the amount of things she gets into. Now there are bad days instead of bad months or weeks. She still pushes Bella's buttons, by standing in front of the TV when Bella is trying to watch a program or turning the TV off or by just coming up to her and pushing her. This week she drew all over my brand new kitchen table the day after we got it, with crayon. Her sister was coloring, and I just didn't get the crayon out of her hand fast enough. She still tells me no about everything and it is all battles still. For all of her naughtiness, she is still a lover. Her favorite place to be is in my lap and when you pick her up to put her there, she grabs your arms and pulls them around her. She tells me she "lubs" me about 20 times a day and it is still music to my ears. The other day our house was very cold and she was sitting down to go potty on her potty chair and jumped up and said "mommy, my hooha is ccccold!" Oh my gosh, I just couldn't stop laughing at her. I never gave her the anatomical names for her private parts, because she yells them out in public just to get a rise out of me, so when she says it, I always laugh. Bella just loves kindergarten and is doing really well. Her teacher sent me an email last week telling me what a kind and compassionate child she is and it made me feel better about starting her in kindergarten with her September birthday. Every day she comes home and can't stop telling me all the things that she is learning and all the friends she has. I was nervous about her riding the bus with all the older kids, but that seems to be going OK. She has told me about some kids picking on other kids, so I am trying to teach her about what bullies are and how she needs to stick up for the kids being picked on. I want to empower her so she feels brave enough to speak her mind for other kids and herself. School can be so tough. She got her stitches out and that was a pretty traumatic experience as well, but it was pretty quick. We literally had to carry her out of the house kicking, screaming and crying. (We should never have told her where we were going!) She grabbed a hold of the door and wouldn't let go. We couldn't get her to stay in the van and when we got to the med center, she wouldn't get out of the van and again we had to pry her fingers lose from the van door. I can only imagine what people were thinking watching the circus that was our family! She kept crying out to Aaron who was holding her and making her go to the med center "you are not my favorite person!" I am glad to have that whole experience behind us. Last week I was hit with the old adage "well so and so is doing it", for the first time. I should have seen it coming. Apparently her friend got to see a movie that I thought might be too scary for my kids and she didn't really like my response. We had a little argument and I had to pull out a great line that my friend Beth equip ed me with (she's so wise). I told Bella that I was not responsible to God for so and so, I was responsible to God for her. I'm sure it's just the start of lots more battles to come. I hope everyone stays warm this fall. I can't wait until we go to the pumpkin and apple farms soon!