Summer 2014

I feel like I'm really late posting for summer of 2014, since it's the fall, but here I go anyway:) Bella did pretty good in fourth grade. She had a male teacher this year, Mr. Bright and he was pretty awesome. She almost had straight A's, but that blasted math did her in again. That was my downfall too, so at least we can commiserate! She ended the year with Girls On The Run, which is a running club. They had to run a little bit every week and when they did their trial 5k, she ended almost last, crying and her coach trying to encourage her on. It was a cold rainy day,and that didn't help, but she was so discouraged and wanted to quit and kept telling me she never wanted to be in the club ever again. I started running on the treadmill at the beginning of the school year, so that I could run with her, but having not had to run for any reason in 20 years, it took a while for me to get my running legs on. Thankful for my treadmill, Bella and ran the 5k (3 miles) with all of Ottawa and Allegan county schools. It was held at Grand Valley State University, my old stomping grounds:) There were a zillion girls and their parents there. Of course it was nearly 90 degrees that day at the end of May! At first, when we were running, she kept wanting to give up and I was bribing her and threatening her and encouraging her and she wanted to stay with her friends and their parents, but she couldn't keep up with us. Finally finding her inner-strength, which I truly believe was from God, she burst fourth with a new energy and was encouraging all of us by the end. We were passing people that were really great runners and even past her coach. I will never forget her coach's face when she saw Bella kicking butt. It was priceless! She said all breathless, "See, I knew it was all in her head - I knew she had it in her!" One of my best mommy moments with Bella. We will probably never run another 5k ever again, but we can now say we did it and we came in, some where in the middle! First grade was a challenge to Natalie and for most kids from what her teacher said. Going from teacher directed activities, a lot more unguided activities was hard. She had a lot of difficulty paying attention and staying on task. She was a distraction sometimes and had a little too much energy. Again, we got a few notes home saying she was playing too rough or got into trouble. We also had some problems with bullies on the bus. Older kids messing with her to get a rise out of her and kids being plain mean. I ended up doing a lot of driving myself. She had a wonderful teacher, Mrs. Sampo, who I believe is one of the best teachers ever and was so thankful for her guidance and love for our little Nat. Nat still did gymnastics, but again, had trouble not getting in trouble for her wild ways:) I did day care during the day and after school, so most days we had Eden and Blake after school and so they had lots of play dates and snow days spent with good friends. We had more snow days than we could manage with the amount of snow we had, so they missed a lot of school. The girls both did AWANA again this year and so the weeks were filled with memorizing scripture, doing homework and working on their extra sports. After school was very exhausting!!! In February we traveled to Florida and Disney World with my friend Kim and her two daughters Emma an Kaitlyn, who were my girls' best friends. We had many people praying for our trip and I believe it's the only way things went as smooth as it did. On the way down, we had good weather and the girls slept most of the night and didn't complain about being crammed into the back of a 7 passenger van. Thank goodness for technology. They watched movies and played video games and snacked the whole way. I drove for the first 8 hours and was hopped up on flavored coffee which I discovered last year. Kim kept me awake by yelling FORK! It was our code word for when I was over 90 mph. I guess driving on double expressos is like driving on speed:) We left at 5:30pm and arrived the next day at around lunch time. We loved the little apartments and the kids loved the pool. We had pretty awesome weather. The only day it rained was the day we did Animal KIngdom, and it was only a little misting and then the sun came out still during the morning. Fickle Nat only got difficult for a half hour and that was shocking too. The kids went on two of the scariest roller coasters out of all four of the parks and were a little scarred after that:( Had no idea that would be in the dark and go backwards and upside down! That night we went to the Epcot fire works show. The next day we did Magic Kingdom and the kids walked from 11-11. Not once did they complain about how tired they were. They might have asked about snacks a few times, but we were all really proud of them. After all the rides and the warm weather, we watched the light parade and watched the movie and another light show on the actual castle as we were walking out of the park. The girls were so tired they were crying to go home. Us adults really wanted to stay until the end of it, but they were all wiped out. The next day we did a pool day and had perfect weather. The day after that we did Epcot, which was my least favorite part. We did get to see an aquarium, but I sat on park benches while the others stood in hot lines to get pictures with princesses. We didn't stay forever at that park and went home to jump in the pool. I think we did our trip to the ocean next. We went to Cocoa beach for the day and it was a perfect day for swimming. Bella and her fear of the ocean and sharks! So................... Bella walks up to me with her cut finger bleeding saying she won't get back in the water because sharks can smell blood and they'll come after her and then a few minutes later, we are laying out on our towels and the guy next to us in a Jersey Shore's accent shouts "get out of the watta, there's a shock!" over and over! I think a lost a bit of credibility with Bella over that one, because sure enough, there in the waves was a brown shark. I guess that beach it notorious for shark attacks and sightings! Bad mommy moment of the year:) The last park day was spent at Hollywood studios and was a pretty fun little park. Aaron make us get up at the crack of dawn, to be literally the fourth or fifth car in the parking lot, so we could be first in line, which we were, so the littles could be in the Star Wars show, which they were. We got lots of great shots of them learning how to fight with light sabers and fight Darth Vader. That was a proud Papa moment for Aaron;) Kim and I got to go on the Tower of Terror twice by ourselves, so I really loved that. AAron was chosen to be part of the Indiana Jones stunt and action movie, so he was thrilled about that too! We watched the night show in an amphitheater surrounded by water and it was fantastic. Maybe the best of all of the shows. The drive back wasn't as good as going down, but we did the pool on an over-cast morning and left after lunch. I started driving first and poor Aaron did most of the driving after that. The kids couldn't get situated, so after three miserable hours of the kids waking up, while I was driving, and complaining, poor Kim got in the very cramped back so one of the kiddos could have the bucket seat and stretch out. I was up late that night! We got home the next morning and it was cold and snow was every where. Aaron left for Kentucky in May and was gone through the end of August, so he missed out on most of the activities, but I kept busy babysitting my friends' kids. It was a cooler and wetter summer, so we didn't get out to the lake as much as I thought I would. The girls went away to Pine Ridge Bible Camp with their friends Ella and Sophia and had a blast. We did the county fair, family games night at the fair grounds, had lots of play dates and a couple of nights of sleepovers in a tent at their Grandma and Grandpa Combs' house. I attended Gabe's first birthday party alone, since everyone else in my family was gone. My friend' Mandy and Keith had me over lots to keep my company so I wasn't as lonely with Aaron being gone. Some friends from church also gave us zoo memberships, so we did that a bunch of times as well and had a blast! Aaron came house and a few days later, we left for Niagara Falls. It was a quick trip. 5.5 hours long without traffic. We stayed on the Canadian side and had yummy food and rode the Maid of the Mist and got to see free fire works at night. The falls were very pretty with lights shooting on them. The next day we went to the American side and walked through parks and did the junk shop shopping and saw the falls on the U.S. side. and then drove home. That was a longer trip and we were all exhausted by the time we got home. The girls started second and fifth grade before we knew it and have great teachers. We had conferences today and they both were fantastic. They both have great grades and are behaving well. Natalie is night and day different from her behavior last year. She has grown up and matured in amazing ways. The first day I woke her up for school, she jumped right out of bed to get dressed without me warning her and threatening her. I was shocked! Bella on the other hand, who started young adolecense with a vigor, couldn't get out of bed for the first time. Watching Bella's body grown and change and becoming moody and sullen has been difficult. My cheerful happy positive kid had gone into hiding for a bit and hopefully we make it out of this new journey unscathed. School is getting a lot more challenging for her and isn't as much as a breeze as it used to be. She still climbs into my lap, while I hold on the her with all my might, knowing that time is going too fast with her. It's amazing how much my love grows for them. I am still so completely grateful for their little lives. Nat has learned how to do a back walkover, back handspring and a back tuck on the trampoline. She's getting stronger and more sure of herself and it's fun to have that thing in common with her that we can bond over. Bella and I read together and Nat and I have gymnastics. Life keeps on chugging on.......

Summer 2013

Well, another school year came and went and I didn't have the time to post any updates on the girls. Since this is a journal of my children's lives, I'm not doing to good;). Third grade was a long year for Bella! Bella had her eyes tested in the fall at school and at the time, she kept talking about how cool glasses were and how pretty they looked on the other girls, so when she flunked her eye exam, I thought she did it purposely. The teacher kept complaining that she was fidgety and restless and was lacking focus. I couldn't figure it out, because we weren't seeing it at home. We were all perplexed. One of my friends told me she saw a 20/20 or some sort of show where all these inner-city kids were struggling with the same things and were all tested for glasses and all needed them. After they had glasses, they had no more problems. So...... finally in April I listened to that nagging feeling and had her tested and she REALLY needed them. So, my poor kiddo couldn't see the board and her report card at the end of the year was "her glasses made all the difference in the world". Lesson learned! Keeping up with homework with her was rough. The older they get and the more they have to do is hard on us parents. With two kids this year, I felt like as soon at they came home they were working away and fighting me the whole time. Bella made a new friend at church, Sophia and she's a cutie, but at school, she was still friends with the same kiddos. She turned 8 in September and I let her invite the whole class for a sleep over. Wow!! That was exhausting - didn't expect for the whole class to actually show up! The girls both did gymnastics this school year and loved it. Aaron built them a bar and balance beam, so every morning when I had an extra couple of kindergarteners and a pre-schooler, I coached gymnastics. The girls both had good friends in their classes, so they were all excited to go together every week. On Wednesdays they were at church for AWANA. Working on verses was rough too. It seemed like there weren't enough hours in the week! I was afraid Natalie would really struggle with kindergarten being all day, but I was the one who found it difficult. I hated being away from my baby for that long of a day. She only got in trouble a couple of times for playing too rough. She's so impulsive and can't control where her energy goes sometimes, so I was worried about her behavior. She has really come a long way since this time last year. I know we will always struggle with her impulsive side, but I hope as she matures, she will out-grow it more and more. We went backwards with thumb sucking. She had conquered that last year, but during the year, she started again, and we have been dipping her thumb in a no-thumb suck solution every night still. Kindergarten is such a huge year for changes in kiddos. Again, we watched as another one of our littles learned how to read and write, add and subtract. Such huge steps. Wasn't it yesterday we were working on potty trainning? Natalie already had friends before she was in school and they ended up being in her class, so she felt confident and happy day one. She loved recess and lunch:) I kept getting luch boxes back home that had almost no food gone. My girls aren't very good eaters, but with only 15 or 20 minutes for lunch, they weren't eating at all! Hopefully that doesn't continue to be a problem. We lucked out with wonderful teachers for the girls again. I got to volunteer at their parties and field trip since I did day care for my friend. I appreciated the flexability to be able to still be a part of my kids lives at school. I'm still working on stained glass. I had to take a break the last couple of months after having stomach surgery and recovered nicely. Aaron was gone after the first couple of weeks, so taking care of the girls while recovering was pretty rough. I had lots of help from friends and had lots of company so I didn't get too lonely. The girls got to go on lots of play dates and sleep overs. Every day they had someone to play with or were swimming at the neighbor's house. We have done the beach a few times this summer in Grand Haven and the parks a bit too. Bella had a wonderful time at Pine Ridge Bible Camp last week and Natalie is going to camp at Gymnastics this week. We still have another month left of summer but I'm already trying to figure out what they will need for fourth and first grade.

A Third Grader and a Kindergartner

I thought that the summer would last longer but here it's September already! We had a great summer, especially with Aaron home for most of it. We really appreciated having him around to do summer activities with. The biggest feat of the summer was Natalie stopping her thumb sucking! We tried everything and then finally ordered the "No Thumb Suck" solution and has been fine ever since. What a relief. I also notices this week that she didn't sleep with her blankie. These strong ties to her baby-hood slipping away from me breaks my heart. I want these things for her, but it's just going too quickly that it's taking me by surprise. We put up a pool this summer and the girls loved it until they dug the lake out behind our yard and then they wanted to do that every day and all day. I can't believe the difference in their swimming abilies having access to swimming every day. It was one of the hottest summers since I've been in Michigan and we had quite a drought, so we were able to play outside without any bugs bothering us, which was nice. Because of the heat, we didn't go to the parks as much as we usually do, or ride bikes either. They were either in the water or in the house. In August I threw an "old school" game night for the girls in Bella's class. They had a blast and were good sports about running around in the heat. We played games like, Ghost In the Grave Yard, tug of war, TV tag, Octopus, and capture the flag. They were really cute. We went to the beach at least evey other week with friends and had my friend Nikki and her kids came up for a visit. In August we went on our family trip to Arkansas and Texas. We first drove to Joliet to see my family, then drove to St. Louis to visit the zoo, which the girls loved and then drove to Arkansas and stayed with Nikki and her family. David and Bella are good friends and so it's so nice that they still get to play together. They took us on a tour of their town and out to eat at yummy places and we got to chill and watch the olympics. We drove next to Dallas to see my aunt and uncle and got to see their new house. I loved seeing the stained glass transoms I made for above the doors in their house. It's a good feeling to see your art work displayed. We went shopping, out to eat, and went to Medievel Times for dinner and a show. I'll never forget Natalie with her hand over her heart, saying, as she pointed to one of the jousting knights "did you see that - he smiled at me", and then later the very same night handed her a flower and she said "he loves me." What a princess that one is! We then traveled south to the coast of Texas (Galveston) and the girls had their first experience with the ocean. They loved boogie boarding into the shore and Natalie loved playing in the sand too. We ate a lot of fresh seafood, shopped, and went to the movies during the hotest part of our trip. It was hard to leave such a beautiful place. We drove home in two 10-hour days, stopping in Memphis. We visited Graceland and got to tour the estate and see where Elvis was buried. The town was beautiful and they had good seafood too! It was good to be home, but it took a while to get everything washed and unpacked. As soon as we were home, we had to go shopping or school supplies, and get all their school paperwork together. We attended their open houses and they met their teachers and got to see where they were going to sit. It was a fun night, but very hot. Labor day was busy. We went home to Joliet for one day to see my aunt and uncle that came to visit and drove home the same day. That was hard after being in the car for our long trip. The next day we went out on Aaron's friend's boat and had dinner in the water and then went home to get ready for the first day of school. Of course I notices Nat had an art project she had to do that was due the first day of school, so first thing in the morning we were gluing and stamping and glittering before I was even awake:( Getting up early again has been very difficult. My sweet girls were so excited for school and it rainned all the way up until we walked out the door for pictures. Thank our heavenly father that we were able to walk our kids to their classes and take group photos without rain. Kim, Cath and I tucked our kids into their tables and waved good-bye. I held it together until I walked out of the class and burst into tears. Cath held on to me tight and I have to say, there have been few times that I needed a hug that much! The girls loved their classes and teachers and are really enjoying being back. I love dropping the girls off at school this year and getting that extra time with them. I have the week off until I start doing day care and volunteering, so it's been nice to catch up on lots of projects that have been waiting for me. My heart is still hurting without having Natalie here, but I'm hoping that in time it will get easier. The girls started back up with gymnastics the same day as school started, so things will be very busy around here for a while. Bella's sleep-over birthday party is next week, so I need to prepare for another busy week. I'm so thankful for my family and the opportunity to be able to spend so much time with them this summer.

The End of Another School Year

Bella finished second grade and Natalie graduated from preschool and next year they will both be at the same school. I can't even believe it. Next year is all-day kindergarten, so I'm a little nervous about how Nat will do and if she will be able to sit still for that long. They both loved school and their teachers, so I was happy for them. Bella found out she's in the same class as her best friend, so she is looking forward to that and Natalie is going to have Bella's old teacher who was awesome and she'll be with a couple of her friends too. I breathed a huge sigh of relief when Bella jumped off the bus and we celebrated our last day of school. We went to the park with their friends and then they came back and had pizza with us and we had a big bon fire and made smores. As Natalie would say "Bomb fire." Bella said it was the best night of her life:) We stayed up way too late and then got to sleep in today, so of course, I was thrilled. We have VBS in a week and a half and my dear friend Nikki and her family will be up to visit then too, so we get to spend some quality time with them, which I really look forward to. They developer that bought the golf course behind our house dug a lake that is 10 houses long and 15-20 feet deep complete with a beach around it, so, we will probably be spending a lot of time out on the water. It's just beauiful. We have a plan to visit Nikki and my aunt and uncle in August. Arkansas and Texas in August, I know. That was the only time we could swing it though. Aaron will be home this summer for the first time in four or five years, but he will have two weeks away in July in some in August as well. We have already been busy doing summer activities. Natalie learned to ride her bike last month and Bella moved up to a bigger bike which completely freaked her out and she acted like she was learning to ride all over again. I love my little drama queens;) I hope to get them enrolled in some more swim lessons this summer to keep them safe in the lake behind our house. I've been busy working in my garden and working on a series of stained snowflakes in clear glass patterns all spring. I don't know why I got the bug to do snow flakes in the spring, but they are so fun to make and so I have been working like a busy bee:) I'm still riding my bike everday - it gives me an excuse to get on Facebook and play games - I love multi-tasking! After last summer spent in the house with our foster babies, I look forward to a quiet summer being able to go to the beach and get out and have fun for the summer. Our first fun thing on our agenda is going to the strawberry farm to pick strawberries. I can't wait.

Changes

It's been a long time since I posted last, but we had the busiest eight months of our lives, so at least have a good excuse;) Since September when I think I posted last, a lot has happened. We had some great holidays with family and Bella lost a lot more teeth! We kept thinking that the boys were going to go back, so we didn't expect to have them for the holidays but the judge kept post-poning sending them back, so we gave them a fun holiday with presents and playing in the snow, sledding etc. The girls went ice skating for the first time and didn't like it as much as they had hoped. No big surprise there. I ended up getting them the walkers for the ice and sped around the ice pushing them in it. They loved that, but didn't like actually doing the work themselves. We spend a lot of money and didn't stay long (sigh). In January we got a wake up call when a dear friend from church died unexpectedly and re-evaluated our lives. Loss is difficult, but when you know that person loved Christ with all their heart and see how many people that person impacted by sharing their faith, it inspires you and comforts you. Shortly after that, I went to Florida with some old friends who I don't see near enough and had some good girl time. The weather was beautiful and the experience was priceless. Although having the boys with us was a gift, it was also incredibly stressful. With the stress of the boys and the shock of losing Deb, I ended up having an attack of Meniere's. For those of you who don't know what it is, it is a problem with a nerve in your ear that causes sudden extreme vertigo, hearing loss, pressure on the ear and head among other symptoms. I had only had bouts of this with my pregnancies because it can come on with hormonal fluctuations too. Becuae I knew I wasn't pregnant, I was surprised and unprepared to handle the extreme exhaustion the disease brought with it. I ended up traveling to and from Florida feeling very bad, but when I came home, the stress with the boys' birth family got worse and worse and that coupled with having five social worker changes in eight months made us fed up with the whole foster care system. I am still trying not to be bitter with the experience we had. The last social worker we had was useless and I never felt like we had any support at Bethany. We could tell horror stories about everything we went through, but I know that God called us to be a part of these little boys' life for a reason, even if it was only temporary. He showed us so many amazing things through it all, that we would never have seen if we had not experience it all. We learned so many valuable lessons that only God can teach us and believe me, I needed them, I'm a pretty stubborn person and wouldn't have learned them any other way! We said good-bye to our little ones a month ago (Feb.) and at first I tried to stay very busy with house projects so I wouldn't think about these little babes who felt like my children, but then when things slowed down it got very difficult. My heart is very heavy. People, now, come up to me and want to talk about it, but I don't think they realize how painful it is and that it's like asking me about a child who has died. I am grieving and I don't know when it will pass. I'm praying that time will go quickly. Two years ago we had heard about what a huge need there was for adopting orphaned children and Aaron and I decided to look into adoption of foster children, but what we learned during the process, was that there really aren't any children available for adoption under Bella's age that didn't have serious problems emotionally or physically. They have many teen-aged children and sibling groups and so we thought we would try a sibling group. When we got the call from Bethany who had come to the end of their rope trying to find someone to take the boys, we thought, "sure - we'll take the boys and see what it's like to acclimate a sibling group into our family" since Bethany said it would be a temporary situation until family members could get licensed. After our long ordeal, we decided that adopting children into our home from the foster system took too great a toll on us as well as our girls. Our girls are still so young and when the boys left they were relieved and so happy to have us back to themselves. Natalie didn't get a lot of one on one attention, because I had two toddlers who demanded so much of me. Don't get me wrong, I will treasure all those hugs, kisses, and "I love yous" for the rest of my days on this earth. I loved being a mommy of the two best little boys in this world. Sometimes I can't even catch my breath when I realize they are gone, but I see how much my girls missed, because my hands were so full that I couldn't take them to gymnastics or swim lessons, couldn't read to them or work on a lot of school work. A lot of things fell through the cracks in our lives and it wasn't the greatest for our marriage either. I have the greatest husband ever and I'm thankful that he allowed us to try adopting, but I think that God used this situation to let us both get on the same page with what we wanted for our future and see that wasn't his plan for us. We have spent the last ten years of our lives working on our family and we are emotionally, physically and financially spent. I can't keep putting my family's needs last to achieve the big family that I've always wanted. After all the heart ache of the last ten years, I can look at my girls and finally feel closure and be content with the our family of four. I am thankful that I have a new found appreciation for our lives and I can look forward to our futures instead of looking back at all that we have been through. God has given us a peace that surpasses all understanding and I never knew what the was until we grieved the loss of many miscarriages and foster children. I consider myself incredibly blessed to see all the miracles that God has bestowed upon us. God is good - God is ALWAYS good!

C

It's a Crazy Life

Hello friends and family that still tune into watch our lives unfold! Most of my friends don't keep up with their blogs anymore, but I use mine as a diary of the children's lives, so I will try to be faithful about updating as much as possible. Well, since I last blogged, a lot has happened. It seems like a million years ago. Aaron was gone all summer and that was really difficult with trying to get into a new routine with the boys we foster and then learning how to juggle four children, two of which were into everything. It was a tough struggle in the beginning and there were some days that I didn't know how I was going to get through it all, but we survived. What I didn't realize, was how hard it would be to do your normal activities with four children. Going out and about with a baby, toddler, preschooler and 6 year old was near impossible, which meant we stayed home a lot and that left me feeling very lonely. All my friends were going to the beach etc. and those were things I couldn't do by myself and it was very depressing. I forget how isolating it can be to have a baby in the house again. I tried to keep the kids busy playing in the baby pool, slip and slide and on the swing set. Bella said it was the best summer ever, because she got to love on the baby, which made her summer, but Natalie and Hova argued about everything and fought over toys all day long. That has gotten a lot better in the last month. Our foster boys have grown so much in so many ways. It's been fun to be on this journey with them. The baby learned how to stand, walk, say a couple of words and gained 5 teeth with us. Hova is almost two and he's been a blast to watch. His first sentence was "I Wub u", which was said to Aaron over skype while he was gone. He loves having a daddy around and eats up "guy time." He's gained so many words and everything has become so much clearer. Every day that they are here we love them even more. When they leave, which I think will be in December (it's tentative) it will be hard to say good-bye. I don't know how professional foster parents do it. All the hugs, cuddles, "I love yous", and when they lay their head on your shoulders when you hold them - wow, what a reward, but how painful at the same time. We started out with the boys thinking it would be a very short stay before they were placed with family and then it was indefinite and even though we would like to adopt them, we always knew it wasn't an option. After everything we learned through this process, Aaron and I have decided to not to seek children for adoption that have already had their parental ties severed. I don't know what the future holds for us, but if it means that it's just the four of us, I think we will be content with that.

Bella started second grade a couple of weeks ago and she loves it. She loves her teacher and her closest friend from kindergarten is back with her in second grade and she's made lots of new friends and is very happy. She just turned seven on Friday and she had a tea party for her birthday. Everyone that was invited, showed up, so it was completely crazy here that night. 12 screaming girls hyped up on sugar and excitement. I've never seen such excited girls!!!! Aaron's mom let us borrow her huge tea set and we did sandwiches cut in cute flower shapes and lots of pretty candy decorating the table. I actually succeeded in making Bella's teapot cake, which was a huge relief. I had planned lots of games, but the girls wanted to have more of a play date, so we left some time at the end and they had a blast. I think next year we will skip an actual party and just plan a giant play date for the girls.

Natalie started preschool at Learning Ship and loves school too. We miss Mrs. Jenny at gymnastics preschool from last year - she is a wonderful christian woman who is blessed with the gift of teaching young children. Nat's new teachers are Mrs. Anne and Mrs. Sue and Bella had them back when she attended Learning Ship. Mrs. Anne is the most beautiful person inside and out that I have ever met. I truly feel God's presence when I am around her. I feel very blessed that Natalie gets to be in her class this year.

Right now things are crazy but good. We take the boys for visits with their bio parents twice a week, Bella is in school full time, Nat has school three days a week, we have small group, I have Bible study, the girls have AWANA and I watch my neighbors's son once a week. It's nice to have Aaron home again and things back to semi-normal. Happy fall everyone:)

Big Changes

Well, Bella is now a second grader! I can't believe that first grade went so fast. She had a wonderful teacher and a wonderful year. I loved reading with her class every week and watch them all blossom into such good readers - I will miss the kiddos too. She has a great teacher lined up for next year and her two best friends from kindergarten are in her class this year, so she's very excited about that. The girls loved gymnastics this year and have gotten very strong. Natalie finished her 3's preschool with a great report card. Apparently she's not as naughty for other people as she is for me;) We have started family bike rides, now that Bella is more confident. She's been able to ride since she's four, but she was deathly afraid to do it, so she only road when we made her, but after riding down the street crying "I hate riding bikes - you are so mean", she suddenly got very brave and now asks us to go for rides;)
We were finally certified for foster care/adoption about two weeks ago and in one week, I think we got four calls! It's sad what a need they have for fostering children. We accepted the fourth call and last Friday night, we picked up our two foster sons. They are 8 months old and 19 months old and they are brothers. It's been a challenge, that's for sure. We haven't had a baby in the house for three years, so we had to put the crib back together and get out all the baby clothes and toys and bottels, etc. Luckily I don't have a lot of stuff sitting out for little ones to get into, but we still had to modify things to keep them safe. We have a crawler and a runner! The older one gets into everything, so I am exhausted by the time I go to bed. They told us, that it would be a temporary placement, but I'm starting to wonder how temporary this will be. A bunch of family members had expressed interest in taking them, but no one has called back to get them. Aaron leaves for six weeks next week. Things liking getting groceries and still seeing my friends is worrying me a bit. I'm really juggling with trying to not let my kids slip through the cracks, while I am running around taking care of the little ones. We have only been up three hours and everyone is fed, changed (twice), had coloring time, school work time, computer time and story time. I might tackle taking them out to play in the back yard, but it's so humid out. Luckily the baby is taking his morning nap and the kids are playing well together. Bella of course, is trying to mother him and wants to do everything, which is very helpful and Natalie wants to help, but she' more in the way when she helps. When we got them, we had no instructions on their needs, so we were a little over-whelmed at first, but we have already fallen into a routine, which is great. They are two very happy boys. Please pray for us as we continue to transition. When you parent your own kids, so can be way more layed back. I'm constantly trying to keep them safe and when they are these ages, they are so top heavy, they are constantly hitting their heads. I pray that I will relax more with them! I hope everyone is having a great summer.

Nat's 4th birthday and Easter

We started my birthday in April with an 85 degree day and a week later we had an inch of snow on the ground - crazy! Natalie's birthday was after mine and her theme this year was princesses. She invited all her family and told everyone that they had to dress up like kings and princesses. Most people wore crowns or dresses or even both (thanks family). She was so excited about her party this year, she was telling everyone she met, from the postal carrier to the ladies at the grocery store. Most of her presents had to do with the theme, but she got a scooter from my parents that she's been riding around the house all week and her grandpa Combs made her a rocking chair. She was very blessed this year! Easter was quiet this year, we are spending it at home where it's nice and quiet. We haven't had enough family time lately, so it's just right. The girls got up at 6:30 today - they are usually great sleepers, but they couldn't wait to see what the Easter bunny brought them, so I woke up to two little girls screaming in my ear that the Easter bunny brought them Lalaloopsy toys! I wanted to see their faces when they saw their baskets for the first time, but I didn't predict they would get up that early. We usually have to wake them up for Easters and Christmas'. It's so fun watching them get to experience all these holidays and the joy that it brings them. They know the real reason why we celebrate Christmas and Easter - if you ask them, they will give you a detailed description of why these holidays are so amazing, but there's no reason that they can't have the same memories that Aaron and I had of waking up on these special days and the magic that it brings. Happy Easter everyone - may you all be thankful for the price that Jesus paid on the cross for everyone of us. We love you!

Lessons In Life

With the death of Grandma Combs came the lesson of life and death with our girls. Aaron and I tried very hard to explain how useless our bodies are when we die and that when we are believers, we go to heaven and don't need them anymore - also explaining to them the process of visitations, funerals and burials. Grandma's funeral was beautiful and so many people sent beautiful arrangements of flowers. Rockford Baptist put together a wonderful luncheon as well. I thought I had explained everything to the girls well enough until the pall-bearers started walking away with the coffin and then Natalie started crying "where is my Grandma?" and "I can't see her - Grandma Grandma". Everyone that was within ear-shot started crying harder. That was the rough part for me as well. Every time a loved-one passes it feels like the world will never be the same and it isn't. The day after the funeral Bella came down with influenza and was sicker than I have ever seen her for eight solid days. Then in the middle of that Nat got it for four days, but not too bad. Then after Nat, I came down with it as well. Can I just say that I will never go without the flu shot in my life again? It has been over a month and I am still coughing. I didn't know it was possible to feel that sick and not die. Thank you to all my small group who brought me dinner while Aaron was gone and to Jess who brought me groceries and to Jenn who brought my kids to church for me! Thank you to my momther-in-law who spent 24 hours at the house so I could stay in bed. What a blessing you all were to me. I will forever be greatful! March 4th my grandma Roath turned 90 and we headed to Joliet for a quick trip of 6 hours to celebrate with her. All the family that could attend, went to church with her that Sunday morning and then we all went out for brunch. It was such a gift to see the joy that all of us brought to her when we surprised her at church. She is one of my favorite people on this earth. She is 90 but she says she feels the same as she did 30 years ago. She still lives in the house that the kids grew up in and is still active in her church. I am so thankful to God that I still get to have her as my grandma down here for a while!
The kids are doing good. Bella does great in school and when we spoke with her teacher at conferences she described her as an old soul, which made me feel happy, because that's what we have always said about her too and it makes us feel good that with so many kids in the classroom, that her teacher has taken the time to get to know her. I feel so blessed that Bella has had nothing but beautifully sweet teachers since preschool! What I also love about Bella is her imagination. It's so neat to listen to her play with Nat or by herself because she comes up with some of the best stories. She constantly cracks me up. I still miss her everyday when she is at school. She's taking swim lessons right now, so I feel like between that and AWANA, she's busy until bedtime. Natalie hasn't had confrences yet, but her confrences are going to go totally different than Bella's. Natalie also has a wonderful teacher at gymnastics preschool. She has to be a saint to handle Nat - she can go from crossing her arms accross her chest and giving you the stink eye, to hugging you with a big smile and telling you she loves you in half a second. Mrs. Jen is going to get a special crown in heaven for dealing with our sweet little handful:) Right now she's into princesses. She wears her dresses from the time she wakes up until she goes to bed and when she has school or church and I make her wear actual clothes she throws quite a fit. We all play prince to her princess and she makes up dance with her constantly. Her naughty of the month is when Bella is getting in trouble for something, Nat is right behind us telling us how much she loves us and how wonderful and perfect parents we are. She learned how to suck-up really early in life;( Everyone who gives her love is her best friend, but if you ask her who her bestest friend is, it's Aunt Carrie. She's loving her swim lessons too and her funny for this month is: the other night I was talking to her and she was hiding behind the curtains. When I asked her what she was doing because I could not hear her talking, she told me "be quiet - I'm talking to Jesus about something very important". I wish I could remember what was so important, but it has escaped me now. That's why I write this blog. Someday I am going to compile it into a book for the girls and I, to remind us of this funny little journey we are on together. Well, spring is here and we can't wait for summer weather where we can be out in the garden and the swingset. I hope spring is finding you all well!

Grandma Combs

Today we lost Grandma Combs. She's been sick for a long time and although we are happy that she is in peace and no longer in any pain, we are grieving her loss. She was an amazing woman. She was a strong, loving Christian woman. She had polio as a small child and wasn't expected to make it. She defied the odds and made it through with only a limp to distinguish her. Because of her battle with polio, she was never able to run and jump like everyone else. Aaron and I picture her running through heaven without any pain, meeting her parents and siblings and her two babies that she lost. Although she is Aaron's biological Grandma, I couldn't love her any more if she were my own. They lived in Rockford and they were the first family that welcomed me into the family in 1997. We spent lots of time there while we attended Grand Valley. They were a home away from home and they loved me with open arms. Please pray for all of us as we learn how to live in a world without our "Matriarch".

Another New Year and Look at the Last

Although last year was another year I wish we could forget, there were some pockets of truly precious times. I again, am very thankful for my two healthy girls and my awesome husband who works so hard! Dec. 21st Bella lost her first tooth. She was very reluctant to pull it out, so I reached in and grabbed it and she was surprised to find that it didn't hurt at all;) She's about to lose her second any day now - not a big deal to most people, but Bella's been waiting for these days for a long time! She still loves first grade and recently became a strong swimmer. For her AWANA points that she had earned for the first semester, she got to shop in the "store" and ended up buying me a cupcake box, because she knows I collect them! I was so impressed that she, at such a young age, could think about someone else above her own wants and desires. Natalie is doing really well also. She is finally turning a corner in her naughtiness and is able to be a rational human being - most days anyway;) She had a great year by potty training this past spring and then finally staying dry through the night by late fall. I thought the day would never come so I say Hallelujah!!!!! She loves gymnastics and is getting a little better at swimming. Although the death defying acts have become less frequent, that have not stopped coming. We went home to Joliet for Christmas and my sister had to do the Heimlich maneuver on her, because she was choking on a cookie. (sigh) At least they are fewer and further in-between:( We had a wonderful time in Joliet and I say a great big thank you to my dad "Pop" for getting up with my girls while we stayed with them every morning. He fed them and kept them busy, which allowed us to sleep in and relax. I couldn't have been happier:) The girls got everything they wanted for Christmas thanks to them and of course that makes me thankful, because it takes the stress off of us. I am most thankful that we still get to celebrate another Christmas with both of my grandmas who are so incredibly healthy and agile - one of which is about to turn 90! Aaron's grandma Combs is doing better, so thank you for your prayers! She and Grandpa just celebrated their 64th wedding anniversary - congratulations you guys! We didn't think that she would make it until Christas, so that was a wonderful gift. Speaking of gifts....... we welcome the newest member of the Combs family - Aaron's sister Shannon had a baby girl on December 23 and her name is Rebekah Marie Buys. She is so sweet and everyone has loved giving her kisses. Congrats to Shannon and Adam who are awesome parents - we are so proud of you! When we got to the hospital to see Becca for the first time, Natalie says "this where we go to visit sick granmas". We have been there so much over her lifetime, that she recognized the parking garage:( Another funny Natism of 2010 (when she had a headach) "my forehead hurts". I wish I could keep a better record of all the funny things she says. I hope everyone is staying healthy enough this season - we have had a lot of sickness in our household since the fall. God bless you All!

Merry Christmas

Jesus humbled Himself. He went from commanding angels to sleeping in the straw. From holding stars to clutching Mary's finger. The palm that held the universe took the nail of a soldier. Why? Because that's what love does. The gift of God...... The birth of Christ. This is Christmas..... This is love. - Max Lucado Blessings to all of you and have a Merry Christmas.

The Wedding

We had a wonderful time on our trip! The girls were awesome on the planes and were well behaved for the most part the whole time. The week went so fast, that I feel like we just left, but we packed a lot of adventure into the time we had. The first two days were busy with wedding things, but I was so happy for my sister Carrie and her husband Lee. The wedding took place at a resort, outside, over-looking a mountain, at sunset. It was a beautiful pink sunset and the weather was perfect. The food was awesome and the atmosphere felt like a fairy tale. My grandmas weren't able to travel, so they were greatly missed, but my aunt Lissa and Uncle Terry came in from Texas, so I was soooooo happy to see them. I hated my dress, sorry Carrie if you read this, but it wasn't her first choice, so I didn't include ANY photos of me at the wedding. (Just in case you are wondering) We did some hiking in the hills, did a lot of swimming, shopping, eating at yummy restaraunts, and traveled to Sedona for half a day of hiking and shopping and did the Grand Canyon in record time. Luckily I had already done the whole Arizona trip with my sister ten years ago, so I didn't feel bad about the bad weather at the Grand Canyon, but I felt bad for Aaron and the girls. The weather wasn't quite 40 and it was snowing!!! The clouds were so low, that we didn't have a very good view until we were leaving. We did not stay long - everyone was shivering. When we drove back through Sedona though, it was beautiful and the sunset was breath taking again. After traveling around the world, I can safely say, that there is no more beautiful a place at sunset, than Sedona! We had a couple of near drownings in the pool with Nat. One was funny, but the other was pretty serious. I didn't get to relax much on the trip with her. I always have to be surveying the surroundings looking for potential life-threatning situations. She must have gotten Bella to take her life jacket off while they were in the kiddie pool, because all of a sudden she jumped into the deep end of the big pool and forgot her life jacket wasn't on and Aaron had to jump in and save her. It took him a while to get to her and we were freaking out. I think she swallowed a gallon of water:( I can't wait until we can get to a time in her life, where she can be more responsible. She is scarry dangerous. Well, congratulations Carrie and Lee - I hope you have a wonderful marriage full of love and happiness!

Good-byes

It seems like every few month lately I am saying good-bye to another dear friend. I'm not talking about seasonal friends, but the kind of friends that you consider family - some of my closest friends. This is how it has been for the last couple of years or so. I don't think it has been by chance, that these have been the toughest couple of years in Aaron's and my life. God calls us over and over in the Bible, to come to him first during the trials in our lives. He wants us to cling to him for comfort, but often times the first thing we do when sorrow hits, is call our friends to hold us up - physically, spiritually and or emotionally. I know I have been very guilty of this. Sometimes we just need to feel God's love physically from our friends. Sometimes a hug feels like just what we need instead of opening up God's word. For me, one of these people is my friend Nikki. When Aaron and I were grieving, she came to my house and challenged me to listen to God's words, even when that was the last thing I wanted to hear. She is a true picture of Christ to me and a hand to hold when I hurt. She inspires me to be the best version of myself and I'm going to miss her painfully so. She is following, where God is leading and for that I am happy, but for those of us who will be left behind - we are sad. I guess the challenge for myself is that not only do I remember to go to God first, but that I learn how to suffer joyously through this grief in my life. I know that doesn't even seem possible, but I have hope, because if I have learned anything else from Ms. Nikki,it is to hope and my hope is in Jesus!

Our Big News

Well............... we have some pretty exciting things that will be happening for our family in the next six months or so and we wanted to share them with our friends. We have decided to persue adoption through foster care. We will not be doing foster care, but finding a sibling group to adopt through the foster care system. Yes, I did say sibling group. We would like very young children and we would also like to help keep a set of 2-3 children together. There isn't a need for adoptions of one-child families, but because it's a much more difficult a job trying to place a multi-child family, there are many children in the foster care system. This is something that has always pulled at my heart strings. Before Aaron and I were married, we talked about doing foster care, so this isn't anything new for us. It's just a big descion to finally start the adoption classes, which total 30 hours and get the paper work done, which will take six months. People have asked us what the girls think and they are thrilled. Bella wants me to tell you guys that she is super duper happy! She wants at least one baby boy. I told her, that if that happens, that baby most likely won't be an infant, but more like nine months to a year. We are looking for at least two boys under the age of five. I just ask that you all will pray for our family as we begin this new journey in our lives. Depending on what family we go with, the kids will have some set backs and some emotional issues to work through. It may be a lifetime of challenge, but we our up for the challenge and are excited to see what family God has chosen to become part of our own. Thanks, and God bless!

School Has Begun And One More Birthday

I can't believe that it has been less than two weeks ago that Bella started first grade. It feels like a month ago at least. Bella is my good sleeper and I've always enjoyed her allowing me to sleep in, but now that she has to go to school all day, it's pretty rough on her. I have to wake her up everyday - I was hoping that her internal clock would click in by now. She's getting faster everyday, but she's still walking around the house like a zombie and still has circles under her eyes. She's one of those kids who needs a full night's sleep to not be emotional, so I'm dealing with a lot of melt downs. It's hard on us to get used to our easy going kid acting like someone else. She's also making new friends, so it's interesting to watch some of her mannerisms morph into someone else. She loves her teacher and gets to see her kindergarten pals on the playground, so I think that's her favorite part of her day. Today is her birthday and she just turned six. She was our lunch time baby. She came into the world at exactly 12:00. This is the most significant day of my life, because this is the day that turned us into parents. It's a very profound day for me because of the difficult road we had to take to get her. No matter what happens in the rest of my life, I will never be more thankful than the day that Bella was born. She had a Curious George birthday party on Saturday and the kids had a blast. They were so cute! Tonight we are heading to the circus and the kids can barely contain themselves. They have been bouncing off the walls with excitement. Natalie and I are going to get Bella from school and take her to lunch for her big day. It's really rough being away from her all day now. I don't think I'll ever get comfortable with that. I miss her so much! Last week, Natalie Jane kept asking me to go pick Bell up because she missed her too much:( "We need to go get her!", she kept saying. This time alone with me has been really great for her though and she's doing great. She's behaving herself and hardly ever tells me no! I never thought I would see this day. I have to keep her busy, because she's used to Bella entertaining her, but she's actually letting me teach her sometimes, so I am excited to see what she is capable of. We are thinking of doing gymnastics preschool two days a week starting next week. It has lots of openings, so we are still thinking this over. She would love it! I hope everyone who has kids has survived the start of another school year!

Another End to Another Summer

Well, Aaron came back from Washington, was home for a bit, and them is gone to Colorado this week. He will be home this weekend again. The girls did really well this time and the time went quickly since this was the busiest summer we have ever had! Thank you to all my friends who took the girls for me, so I could have a break - you saved my sanity! I also made sure I got plenty of babysitters all summer long, which helped as well. Aaron's cousins are in high school and needed work, so we made sure we kept them in business. Us girls went to the beach, park, did crafts, colored, helped Bella with school work, read lots of stories, watched lots of movies, played on our swing set and learned how to grow a garden. We have our first orange tomatoes this week!:) We were very excited about that one. Even though Natalie is still very busy, I don't think we had any disasters like the last three summers, so that made things easier as well. Aaron is excited about some projects his boss has for him with the Army reserves. The colonel is also a pastor and wants Aaron to start planning some service projects (missions trips) around the world for his college students. They all have to have at least one multi-cultural experience before they graduate. The gorvernment wouldn't be funding the trips, so the kids would have to raise the money themselves. It's good to see the goverment coming up with ideas to make the world a better place instead of only wanting to take over third-world countries! Aaron is really excited about the possibilites! We as a family have big news too, and no it does not include me being pregnant. We will share our news when we have talked with our families about it first. Bella starts first grade in a couple of weeks and we have been buys getting her ready to start this new journey. I feel so blessed to be a mom and experience all these exciting moments with my girls - being a mom rocks! Have a great rest of the summer everyone!

Summer

Well Aaron has been gone for three weeks now and I am glad to report that things are going pretty smoothly. At this time last year I could have written a book on all the crazy things Natalie had done, but life with a three-year old Natalie is much easier:) I can actually post some sweet things this time instead of frustrating death-defying tricks she has been infamous for in the past summers. This week she climbed up in the chair with me and leaned into my face and said "Mommy, you are so beautiful." I of course praised her for her uncharacteristic thoughtfulness and then Bella comes running (to not be out-done) and says "Mommy, you aren't just beautiful, you are gorgeous!" I had to laugh that they were competing for my attention in such a unique way;) This past week I designed a big stained glass window for the girls' bathroom in popsicles and ice cream cones and then I made individual rainbow colored Popsicles and strung them on Christmas lights and hung them around the top of the wall and they were so encouraging. Natalie told me what a good job she thought I did and kept praising me on how pretty it was! It's just so crazy that she's thinking outside of herself and being so appreciative like that all of a sudden. We have been staying so busy this summer that sometimes I feel like there are not enough hours in the day. It is making the time go by quicker and I really appreciate that. We went to the beach today and it was such an awesome day! Thursdays I have a standing lunch date with someone I hold very dear and I eagerly await those special times to get a break from motherhood. The girls love swimming lessons and although they are not gifted swimmers, they are getting stronger and stronger every time they are in the water. Aaron is enjoying what he is doing in Washington and that makes me happy as well. Please pray for my sister - she had to put her beloved puppy to sleep yesterday. He was almost 14 and he was her baby. We love pets in our family with too much of ourselves sometimes. It's so hard to see them go. Also please pray for my dear friend Beth who lost her mom this month. It's so hard to watch people you love grieve and know that there is nothing you can do to make it better. I hope you are all having a wonderful summer.

Sick Sick Sick

Well, the flu just went through our home and it was not fun!  It's been so long since I had the flu, that I forgot how horrible it is to feel sick.  Natalie started it in the beginning of the week and threw up while she was bouncing around laughing and continued to laugh afterwards, so I didn't think it was a bug.  Then Bella got it the second to the last day of school.  I got it two days later and it was bad.  Being a sometimes over-whelmed mom, I've often wished for getting sick, so I could lay in bed all day and sleep, but never again.  Besides feeling like death so the sleep was unable to come, I had to listen to Aaron stressed, freaking out about everything Natalie did.  It is comical to me now as I remember how badly she kept her daddy hopping, but it was a little crazy at the time.  I keep saying how much easier Natalie has gotten since toddlerhood and how there are fewer disasters and dangerous incidents, but after listening to Aaron on Saturday I realized that what has happened, is that I have just learned that I have to be one step ahead of her at all times.  It has become second nature, so I don't even think about it, but for Aaron who works so much, he has not learned to adapt to the triple D as I have come to acknowledge her in my head.(Disasterous, dangerous, and disobedient)  So, first thing in the morning Nat is fighting with Aaron to sit on the potty.  She is potty trainned now, but refuses to go potty first thing in the morning and we try to avoid accidents the best we can, but she hates to sit for us first thing in the morning. So...... she was screaming forever about that and then was complaining about breakfast and then I hear Aaron screaming later and he barges into the bedroom with a chunck of Natalie's hair and a pair of scissors and very kindly;) let me know that MY daughter had cut her hair off. We didn't put the scissors away after the craft he was doing with Bella. He continued to have a day where she refused to get dressed, made messes, got into trouble and drove him certifiably insane. At the end of the weekend he was soooo exhausted and he announced to the family that he needed a vacation to rest from his weekend. I have to say, that although, I would never wish that kind of weekend on anyone, especially my husband, it did give me some sence of gratitude. He now knows what I deal with on a regular basis and I feel appreciated:)