Christmas 2009

Merry Christmas to everyone! It seems like Christmas gets busier every year. With Christmas programs at church, buying and wrapping presents, getting Christmas pictures taken, getting the cards ordered and then addressing and labeling them, not to mention the parties and travelling out of town for the holidays. Phew - I get tired just looking at the list! I try to stop and remember the real reason for celebrating this wonderful holiday - Jesus the son of God, coming to earth to save us from our sins. When I try to take in the magnitude of God's blessing in just that very gift, my breath is taken away. I look at the miracle of both my children's births and I am so thankful for their gifts as well. We are continually challenged by my two-year old gift, who has a propensity for sneakiness. I found her chewing a mouthful of gum and took it away, but found her chewing gum the next time I checked on her. After scolding her, she quickly said, it's OK Mom, I got more in my pocket (this said in a two-year old voice I can barely understand). I then reached into said pocket and found more warm sticky gum. Hmmmmmmmmmmmm. Another issue with Nat lately was trying to stop her sucking her thumb. The more I tried to keep her from putting her thumb in her mouth, the further behind she got in potty training. We actually went backwards. So, my big plans went out the window and now I am going to try and re-focus on the potty training thing after the holidays. My five-year old gift amazed me this year when I looked at our Christmas pictures taken and I saw a little girl instead of my baby. She is growing up right before my eyes. With her being in school half the day and then with her and Natalie Jane playing so well together off on their own, I feel like her childhood is slipping away. I want to rewind time and make her smaller, so she can just sit and my lap and let me cuddle her. She really is doing awesome in school and actually cried last week when I told her she had a snow day:( That never would have been me. I am happy that she enjoys school, that she wants to come home and do homework and practice reading. That is so foreign to me. I laughed with my friend Beth at church on Sunday watching her in the Christmas program. Aaron participated as well. He actually got a scholarship in theatre and in voice his first two years of college and here's our Bella up front who was barely singing the songs and spent most of the time making faces like she was in pain. A scholarship in theatre - not in her future:) We have a couple of more Christmas parties before we go home to Joliet for Christmas next week. I can't believe that we are only a week away from the big day! I am going to miss all the music on the radio and the Christmas cheer in the air when it's all over. Have a safe and happy holiday everyone - God bless you all!

Thankful

Well, I had a great time with my family over Halloween weekend and then an even better week in Texas with my family. My sister and I got to go together, which was a nice treat. We use to travel a lot together before the kiddos came along and so it was nice to spend time with her and to be able to go on a vacation. We visited our aunt and uncle whom we don't get to see enough. The older I get, the more I realize how important family is. It gets harder and harder to say good-bye. Aaron stayed home with the girls for the week and did a superb job with them. Thank you again Aaron. This was a rough week in our home. We had lots of sickness and lack of sleep and whiny kids and someone got a hold of my credit card and tried to make some very expensive purchases. I think that is all under control, but I was thinking. Today would have been the due date for the baby we lost last spring. The last 7 months have been difficult. I use to not understand why people focused on a due date for a miscarriage when there no longer was a baby, but now I know. For us, who have gone through so much money, emotion and heart break to create our family, to have gotten pregnant and then gone through that loss, was extra painful. I was pretty bitter and I was holding onto that grief with all my might. I finally gave it up to God and asked him to take it away and the next day I woke up and it was gone. God is so amazing. That was just a couple of weeks ago. Last night I was over-come by a wave of great sadness for what today would mean, but I shed my tears and felt so relieved. For seven months I would occasionally tell myself that I should be pregnant right now and it felt horrible to think about, but now, after today, I feel like that is gone. I am over that hurdle and it feels so much better. So, after what 2009 was like for our family, I can safely say that what we are most thankful for this year, is our girls, for family and for our health. Some of the people we hold most dear to us in our family are suffering from major health battles right now and we just want to let you know that we lift you up in prayer and that we love you with all of our hearts. Happy thanksgiving everyone!

Fall 2009

Well, October is usually my favorite month, but this one in particular has been very disappointing. It rains nearly every day and there has only been one sunny day in the last two weeks at least. I had to turn my heater on last night, because the high winds were making our house even colder than usual. I'm praying for a break in this dreary weather before winter hits. So, the reason I started this blog, besides having it for my family who lives far away and likes to see the updates and slide shows of their girls, was so that I could someday make books for the girls out of them when they are older. My friend Kristen told me about a business that puts them together for you, so you can give them to your kids when they are older to show them what their family was going through - kind of like a diary. I thought this was an awesome idea. I am torn about what to write sometimes though. I want to write about their accomplishments and the things they struggle with or put me through;), so I can give them an accurate view of what their childhoods were like, especially before they have memories of them, but I don't want to come ac cross as bragging about them, to friends who tune in to see what's new with us. I also struggle with the fact that these are essentially for my kids and I feel like I focus too much on all the terrible things that Natalie Jane is getting into, but at the same time I want her to know how mischievous she was and how much she is loved. I am trying to find a balance I guess, so here goes. Natalie is slowing down in terms of the amount of things she gets into. Now there are bad days instead of bad months or weeks. She still pushes Bella's buttons, by standing in front of the TV when Bella is trying to watch a program or turning the TV off or by just coming up to her and pushing her. This week she drew all over my brand new kitchen table the day after we got it, with crayon. Her sister was coloring, and I just didn't get the crayon out of her hand fast enough. She still tells me no about everything and it is all battles still. For all of her naughtiness, she is still a lover. Her favorite place to be is in my lap and when you pick her up to put her there, she grabs your arms and pulls them around her. She tells me she "lubs" me about 20 times a day and it is still music to my ears. The other day our house was very cold and she was sitting down to go potty on her potty chair and jumped up and said "mommy, my hooha is ccccold!" Oh my gosh, I just couldn't stop laughing at her. I never gave her the anatomical names for her private parts, because she yells them out in public just to get a rise out of me, so when she says it, I always laugh. Bella just loves kindergarten and is doing really well. Her teacher sent me an email last week telling me what a kind and compassionate child she is and it made me feel better about starting her in kindergarten with her September birthday. Every day she comes home and can't stop telling me all the things that she is learning and all the friends she has. I was nervous about her riding the bus with all the older kids, but that seems to be going OK. She has told me about some kids picking on other kids, so I am trying to teach her about what bullies are and how she needs to stick up for the kids being picked on. I want to empower her so she feels brave enough to speak her mind for other kids and herself. School can be so tough. She got her stitches out and that was a pretty traumatic experience as well, but it was pretty quick. We literally had to carry her out of the house kicking, screaming and crying. (We should never have told her where we were going!) She grabbed a hold of the door and wouldn't let go. We couldn't get her to stay in the van and when we got to the med center, she wouldn't get out of the van and again we had to pry her fingers lose from the van door. I can only imagine what people were thinking watching the circus that was our family! She kept crying out to Aaron who was holding her and making her go to the med center "you are not my favorite person!" I am glad to have that whole experience behind us. Last week I was hit with the old adage "well so and so is doing it", for the first time. I should have seen it coming. Apparently her friend got to see a movie that I thought might be too scary for my kids and she didn't really like my response. We had a little argument and I had to pull out a great line that my friend Beth equip ed me with (she's so wise). I told Bella that I was not responsible to God for so and so, I was responsible to God for her. I'm sure it's just the start of lots more battles to come. I hope everyone stays warm this fall. I can't wait until we go to the pumpkin and apple farms soon!

Stitches

What a crazy week! Last week when we were in Joliet visiting my family, Bella fell off a chair she was standing on and hit her head and gave herself a deep gash that could have used a couple of stitches. It was deep, but not long enough and we had never been to the ER, so we didn't know what warranted stitches. Head wounds bleed so bad. I was traumatized watching her in pain, crying and bleeding all over the place, but it all finally calmed down. We stared school the next day and she loved it. She had a great week, made new friends and loved riding the bus. Today she had a play date with her favorite person in the whole world and then Aaron was mopping our wood floors and Bella, who was on the computer, jumped up to tell me something and fell crack onto the floor. I was three feet away, but she fell so fast and hard, I couldn't have done anything. She completely laid her chin open. Again, she cried very hard. It was pretty clear this time she needed to get stitches, so we headed to the med center. That was the hardest thing I had to endure watching my baby get five stitches. She was crying and yelling when they gave her the shots to numb the wound and then when they started sewing her up it was incredibly hard to watch. It still gives me chills thinking about it. Ugh. She was such a little trooper though.        Natalie decided last month she wanted to potty train and has been doing really well the last three or four weeks.  Yesterday she stayed dry all day except for nap time and did pretty well today.  I wasn't prepared to even try until she was closer to three because she loves being a baby and she's the most stouborn child a know, so I can only give praise to the Lord, because it is all him! Yeah God:)

Bella's First Day of Kindergarten

Wow! Summer is over and in some ways it felt like it never began. We enjoyed the cool weather, but it still seems strange that it is almost fall and never had continually hot days. Labor day was short and sweet. We went home to visit my family in the burbs of Chicago and celebrated Bella's fifth birthday. My mom threw her a Tinker Bell party and she got almost everything she wanted, so she is a very happy girl. We got home last night, so we were scrambeling to get her school forms filled out, unpack our bags and figure out a new nightly routine. Even though she attended preshcool last year, it feels like a whole new world with getting her ready to ride the bus. We had an open house last week and met her teacher and road the bus around the neighborhood to get her comfortable with this new transition. I thought that it was a good idea. Her teacher is Mrs. St. John and she seems like a great teacher, so I am very excited for Bella. I layed in bed with her last night and talked to her about what she was excited about tomorrow and what made her nervous. She was excited to make new friends. When I went to kiss her good night she started stalling and told me "don't go - tell me about yourself." Ha ha - she is good. We woke up this morning and it was nice that we didn't have to rush around the house since she has P.M. kindergarten. We picked out her clothes and worked on her first piece of homework. She decorated a star to hang in the classroom. I was still sressed making sure all her forms were correct and that she had her milk money and snack ready and clean clothes on. Aaron came home for her big send off since he already was in the area and we had lunch and prayed that she would be brave and have a good day. Last year I could barely hold it together long enough for that prayer. We waited in the driveway and when the bus came down the street, we walked her accross it, kissed her good-bye and up she climbed with out any worries. She amazes me every day. I held it together the whole time until Natty started to cry Bella's name. She wanted to go on the bus with her big sister, but she enjoyed the time with me all to herself until nap time. I am counting the minutes until my baby girl is back in my arms. (sigh)

August

Aaron is home and things are finally back to normal, phew! We have had a busy summer with lots of firsts and some lasts. Bella learned to ride her bike a couple of weeks ago, but she's not a strong rider yet. It was tough work trying to keep her steady, but it was a good work-out running beside her. She continues to amaze us with the funny things she says. This week she told me her imaginary friend had a skin condition and that all his hair was falling out! Hahahahah! Today she was asking me why some of her friends only have one parent and I had to talk to her about the reasons why families come in different packages. That prompted her to tell me that she was an accident. I about burst into tears (we have never referred to her as that). I then explained to her that God has a purpose for each and every one of us and we are all special. God does not make accidents! She then said, "I think God accidentally put me in someone else's belly for you". Realizing she just wasn't getting it, but still laughing, because it was such a cute thing to say, I gave her a huge hug. She said "that why my name is Belly, (nick name) because I was in the wrong one". What a funny girl. We are starting to get her ready for kindergarten this September. I can't believe my baby girl is going off to school on the bus! It seems like yesterday when we were bringing her home from the hospital. I included a couple of slide shows at the bottom of my blog in honor of her fifth birthday coming up in a few weeks.
Natalie still amazes me with the things she can get into. Monday she got into the fridge and unscrewed the instant coffee and dumped the whole thing on my bed, the night stand, the floor and herself. She was busy for a while with that, because when I found her, she had been making coffee angels on the floor:( All the wood floors in my house are still sticky, after mopping three times. Our house will smell like coffee forever I am sure (sigh). Tuesday she got in the pool, rolled around in the sand and went into the living room and rolled all over my clean carpet and my couch. Today she got into the fridge again and some how picked up the almost empty jug of milk and chug-a-lugged the whole thing all over her and my clean kitchen floor. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm! I meant to get to the store this weekend and get a lock for the fridge after she learned how to open it and continued to chase me all over the house with the contents of all things refrigerated. After she went through the egg carton and kept handing me squashed raw eggs! Things have been busy, but you can bet I get to the store for that lock now. (sigh again) She is constantly coming to find me dripping in or covered in what ever she has gotten into and says "she Mommy?" (she talks like she has a mouth full of food when she speaks). Today after thinking she just wasn't the brightest bulb in the box, because she just doesn't get it, she proceeded to count to five all by herself! I finally realized that she gets it really well. She wants my undivided attention at all times and the only way to do that is by destroying my house. I guess I have a lot more respect for the little turkey now;) I love her to pieces even when she is the very naughtiest possible. I just wish toddler-hood was as easy as it was with Bella. I have two little characters that keep me laughing all the time and I am blessed!

The Funny Things They Say

We are doing pretty well since Aaron left and we are finally more than half way there. We have not made any trips to the E.R. yet and Natalie hasn't given me any heart attacks. I bought them a plastic pool to keep them busy, but all I did was give them more ways to keep me busy. They keep going into the pool when they don't have their suits on, so we go through lots of clean clothes in a day and then they have been playing in the pool, walking through the sand and then through my house, which keeps me sweeping up sand by the bucket-full. Bella told me the other day, "Mom - I sure am enjoying my childhood". I just laugh at her funny little sayings most of the time that seem to be wiser than her years. Last week she gave me a hug while we were playing together and then said "Mom - when I get married me and my husband are going to live with you". I told her that I didn't think her future husband would enjoy that very much and she said "Oh yes he will!". In the car today she said "Mom - the more I learn about the world, the more I want to see of it". She also told Natty, "You sure are a good sister Nat" and I laughed again. She is so precocious. Natalie on the other hand is still a hand full, but at least she is speaking in sentences that I can understand now. She has been less wild since Aaron has left and I know that it has been an answer to prayer, so thank you to all who have kept us in your prayers! She misses Aaron terribly and talks about him all day. We do video conferencing on the computer and every time I get on to check my mail she starts crying that she wants to talk to her daddy. Six weeks is a long time for a two-year old. I know it could be worse having a father in the military, so I can't complain. I just started teaching Bella to ride her bike. There aren't many kids in the neighborhood and we are never in the front yard, so I have to make a real effort to get her out there. She's a pretty cautious kid, so it hasn't been easy. My parents were up this weekend to visit, so that was a nice diversion and we had a family treasure hunt at the church this weekend and we all had a blast. Keeping busy is key when you don't have a break! I hope everyone is having a great summer!

One Looooooooooooong Night

Aaron's been gone for four days now and the girls have been pretty well behaved for me. Natalie Jane has not tried any death-defying acts yet. That always makes me breath a little easier. Last night I had my old college friend stay the night with her little guy and we all had a sleep-over. We got to bed kind of late after watching a movie and couldn't get our kids to stay in their beds until after we went to bed, so they were up late as well. Bella ended up in bed with me and then woke up with her stomach hurting, so I was up most of the night with that and half way through the night the thunderstorms started and my big baby of a dog Zoe, who is afraid of thunderstorms, jumped over the baby gate that keeps them in their bed at night and ended up in bed with me. She was shaking so hard that the bed was REALLY moving. Bella and I kept sighing and then in the dark I could hear her whisper into Zoe's ear "don't worry Zozo girl, it will be OK". It was so sweet. After about 4:30the thunderstorms stopped and I got Zoe back in her bed. My friend had to leave at 7:30, so I woke up to say good-bye to her and never really got back to sleep. Bella woke up soon after that and watched cartoons in bed. Luckily Nat slept until 9:30 so I could at least lay in bed a while. Tomorrow we are off to Joliet to see my family so please pray that I make it OK alone with them both. Long car trips were a lot easier when Natalie wasn't old enough to fight with Bella over who got to hold the DVD player. They have no idea how lucky they are to even have a TV in the Car! Back in my day............ha ha ha. Happy fathers day dads. I hope you have a good one!

Life

Hello friends and family who tune into see how we are all fairing. Spring was a difficult time for us. We suffered our third miscarriage and are trying to heal from that, as well as figure out where God wants us to be in our lives. Talking to friends lately has made me realize how much pain there is out there. To all my beloved friends who are suffering from emotional pain from circumstances beyond their control - I am praying for you all! Life is difficult. Bella, who I count on to be my rock/perfect child, has decided that bringing frogs into our house is a great idea despite how much I punish her. Yesterday when she knew I was coming in from the garden, she quick passed off the frog to Nat, who was so pleased with herself that she nearly squeezed the life out of it. Bella, by the way, took off to hide from my wrath. Urgh!!! The other day as Aaron was talking to her about it for the 100Th time she cried to him, "Daddy, I just can't take my eyes off the toads!". I'm hoping this will pass just like everything else. Natalie on the other hand, I pray that her naughtiness will pass, but it never does. In the last month I've walked into the bathroom flooded from her playing in the sink, watched as she scooped water out of the toilet with a cup and drank it, found that she colored all over the stair walls with a black permanent marker, decorated Bella's wall with that same marker, painted the white kitchen cabinets with a pink marker (don't know where this one came from - believe me, we learned our lessons from the past), learned how to climb up on the deck railing (it's a long way down), learned how to stick metal screws in the light socket(yes we have covers - she learned how to take them off at nine or ten months), learned how to unzip the safety enclosure of the trampoline and fell out on her knees(also a long way down), learned how to let Bosley out the front door so he could take hiself for a walk (our lovely neighbors have brought him home three times now)........I could go on forever. Needless to say, she keeps me hopping (no pun intended). Aaron will be heading to Washington (the state)for 5-6 weeks starting June 15Th, so I will need lots of prayers that I don't loose my sanity with a child that's so active! I hope you all survive the summer with all the kids out of school! Take care.............

Spring

Well I finally feel like spring is here for good and we have been having so much fun planting gardens and getting the yard all cleaned up. I got lots of rose bushes for mother's day and I can't wait until they are all blooming this summer! Bella graduates from preschool next week and although we are excited to end that chapter of Bella's life, we are already terribly sad to say good-bye to her teachers. What a God-send they were this year! Mrs. Sue and Mrs. Ann were the best teachers I have ever come to know and we all feel blessed to have had them be a part of Bella's life! I wanted to also take this time to wish all of our mothers and grandmothers happy mother's day! We are so thankful that we have each and every one of you to love. God is so good! What would we do without you? Thank you mom for all of your love and support this spring - I am blessed and I know it! Our dear friend Jess is scheduled for her c-section Friday the 15Th and I if you could pray for baby number five that he/she is healthy and that Jess recovers quickly, that would be great. Also if you want pray that it is a boy,that would be great too! Not that a fifth girl wouldn't be as exciting, but I'm sure they would love to experience the gifts that a little boy can bring into their lives and so would all of us friends! I pray that each and every one of you who reads this is doing well and that spring brings you lots of hope and joy! God bless!

My Birthday and Easter

Happy Easter to all of our friends and family! This has been a busy week with Bella having spring break, Aaron being gone, celebrating my birthday and Easter today. Thankfully the weather was nice all week and we were able to spend a lot of time outside. I just wanted to thank everyone for their thoughts and prayers in the last couple of weeks. We couldn't have gotten through this time without them. The Easter bunny paid us a visit this morning and Bella was very excited. Natalie Jane wasn't that into finding the eggs this year, but Bella made up for her. They are playing with their Easter goodies right now and hopefully we will spend some time with family today. We had a very nice service at church this morning and now we can relax after getting ready for this crazy weekend. Take care everyone!

Sad Hearts

Most of you know that we had another IVF procedure and got pregnant. Our blood worked looked great and right away we had large numbers. We were suppose to have our first ultra-sound on Thursday, but the doctor couldn't find the heart beat. The sack was too small for six weeks, so I had more blood work that night, but by Friday my HCG showed that my levels were dropping and that my body was going to lose this pregnancy. We were not prepared for this news at all. Everything seemed to be going according to plan and with doing an IVF, they pump you so full of hormones, you feel more confident about not miscarrying, at least we did. It's rare, but it happened, and now we have to put all of our hopes, expectations and excitement away and continue the grieving process. Bella has been asking for another little brother or sister for a while now, and so we did tell her when we felt like it was safe to. She was praying every night that the baby would be safe and strong and that it would teach Natalie how to love and how not to be naughty. She was sad at first, but now she's just praying for another little brother or sister to come along. I wish life was that simple for Aaron and I. I wish that I didn't desire a big family or to be pregnant again, but I do (we do), so we put our faith in God and understand that our days are numbered and that this baby may have only lived for six weeks, but it was loved so much and in the end, isn't that what life is suppose to be all about?

Bella Accepted Christ Today

The last couple of weeks around the Combs's household have been difficult and I woke up today feeling a little bit weary, but then something amazing happened. We were listening to Steven Curtis Chapman's "Cinderella" song on the radio and those of you who don't know the song, it is about how his little girl wants to play Cinderella all the time and dance with her daddy and then it flashes to prom when she's older and she asks him to help her practice dancing and then flashes forward again to her wedding day and it's a tear jirking song, but the really sad part of the song is that the artist that sings that song lost his four-year old daughter (whom he wrote the song about) last year when his older son hit her in the driveway with the car accidentally. Bella remembered the story I had told her. We told her about the story so we could explain the danger of running in front of cars. I hadn't said anything yet, but she was really quiet and I said "what are you thinking about?" She said "I was thinking of the little girl who died". We talked about that story and she said she was very sad for her, but I explained to her that she didn't need to be sad for the little girl, because she was in heaven with Jesus now and although we are sad for her family and the ones who miss her, we are excited that she is with him. We have been talking to her about how you get to heaven and praying to Jesus when she was ready to have hime come into her heart, but I always tell her that it doesn't need to be done today, but when she's really ready and understands what that means. Well, today she said "I want Jesus to come into my heart today Mom, so I can go to heaven when I die". A lot of you have been going through this very same moment with your children lately and I was so excited for each and every one of you, but when it's your child, there are no words to express the happiness you feel. I don't know if at four and half she really undnerstands completely, but there is nothing like the pure faith of a child! It's funny to see someone so young, also be so compassionate at the same time. Every time we pray, she always prays for the homeless people downtown who live in boxes under the bridge who have no home or food and she's still asking questions about our friend Ryand who passed away last June. She worries about people who are sad or who have lost someone. I have always been proud of her for her soft heart, but lately she has been having issues and has been in kind of a funk. She's definetely been batteling something and when this morning she prayed her prayer with me, it renewed my spirit and made me understand that Aaron and I are doing something right at least. That Bella loves Christ and the hurting - I couldn't feel more OK, no matter what happens from here!

These Sweet Moments

Well, things are finally slowling down after the holidays and with that I am taking more time to appreciate the girls and all the sweet and funny things they say and do. Like the song says "time falls away", and I wish that I had a photographic memory so I can remember it all before I forget it. Will I remember how small their piggies are right now or how high their sweet voices are or what it feels like to be wrapped in such small little arms? I try to to write it all down, but time slips away and that moment is forgotten. Today was a challenge with Natty - she was her usual naughty self - some call it busy, but it's just a nice way of saying the same thing. I feel bad giving her that label, but she is truely the most challenging child I've ever delt with. Her favorite thing to do is sit in my lap and suck her thumb, but life is busy and so she does the other favorite thing she does best - hang on the fridge or cabinets crying that she needs "cheese" or "canny". When she inevitablly doesn't get what she wants, she throws her temper tantrums, which come by the dozens these days. She learned to say "no" and "mine" this past week and they are my least favorite words coming from a toddler's mouth, BUT in the taking of my time appreciating her tonight I got to watch her swim in the tub and climb into her bed all by herself and sing along with me for the first time as I sang Adel Vise to her. It was one of the sweetest moments I've had with her and it melted my angry heart. When we were done she clapped and folded her hands to say her prayers and giggled when I prayed for her to not be naughty tomorrow - not a coinsidence:) She said Amen all by herself and I thought what a cool little person she's becoming. Aaron is gone tonight, so Bella and I are going to have movie night. She is waiting for me so patiently. Her teacher's brother is in the hospital tonight with spinal meningitus and is unconscious. They have decided to let him go and tomorrow will be his first day with Jesus. All their kids and family will be coming in from out of town. If you could pray for that family. I can't imagine what they must be going through right now and I know that they could use all the prayers they can get. God bless!